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Your illness.

“What?!” I said over the top of my voice, on the phone call.

“Yes, it’s true. I am sorry, I didn’t… I shouldn’t have told you about it.” She replied in an apologizing tone.

⚪⚫⚪⚫

She said you were hospitalised. You were in the ICCU. I didn’t even know it’s full form. And, now, you gave me such a big shock that…you had cancer! That too the last stage!

I was lost in your thoughts, obviously, it was an expected reflex. I now had no time to blame you for leaving me. I had to meet you. Probably, for the last time. I ran, ran until I thought I’ll lose my breath.

There were you. Lying on that bed, unconscious. No idea of who was standing besides you…

I now know that there’s something the God wants to happen between us. Something special, a bond which may be unique, beautifully weird for others.

                                     – Mansi Chaubey.

Chapter 1

I sit. Think, overthink. Realize my mistakes; but don’t cry this time. I feel strength in me. I can feel the blood flowing through me, which consists of nothing else, but fearlessness and happiness. All the way, uptil now, I have learned my things. I have learned to face people, love, heartbreak, emotions, wrong situations, happiness, anger, everything! And yet, I am just thirteen. What makes my story, so different from others? What makes me, so different from others?…

I was born, in a hospital which hardly anyone knew existed. Born between those people, who were never going to play any major in my life. Yet, just yet, love was expected from them to be showered. But instead of sweets, tears were offered to my mum. What else could she have? I was a girl child! It is a crime, to give birth to a girl child! Why will people be happy, with my addition in their lives?

Yet, there was a man, who although played a ‘villain’s role’ in my future, for my dreams, but knew that I’m surely lucky for him. I later called him ‘papa’ as everyone taught me to. He either had a misconception or a trust, faith that I’ll fulfill his needs, wants, dreams, later in life.

Papa first thought me to be his ‘lucky charm’, after he got a chance to settle in Mumbai, forever. All the way from U.P. to Mumbai, instantly, after my birth. All the way from a struggling village, to a city of dreams. He had finally fulfilled his dream, to settle in Mumbai, with family.

We came here- Mumbai- the city everyone wants to reside in. Just like all other families, my family too, was a joint- family. And again, just like other families, they had fights too, which ultimately resulted in decision to get apart. To have separate homes, for each of the family, from this joint-family. 

My uncles soon found homes for their families. So did my dad. We came to live in a building, in a flat. We were the second owners of this flat. And so we had to rush to complete the official protocols, soon, to live here with peace.

                                          – Mansi Chaubey.

New

You were my 11:11. Now, you are my 2:02 a.m., my 4:30 a.m., my 6:00 a.m…and so on. You are the reason that I these pass sleepless nights. Because after all, you left me. You left me, with all those unsaid words, probably still in your mind, between those chemicals your brain might be secreting, as it does, after a person’s death. You left these people, you left your family, you left this world! I was there, with you, all night. But… just as I left, I don’t know what happened and, and…you..! No! Was that all true? Had you ever cared for me? Had you really loved me? All of this is now a mystery…a mystery which will never be solved.

                                       Mansi Chaubey.